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2014 to 2015



 Three things that amazingly twist my mind during 2014


#1. Up in the Air (dir. Jason Reitman)
 - everybody needs a co-pilot
"..but by the time someone is right for you, it won't feel like settling. And the only person left to judge you will be the 23-year-old girl with a target on your back."

#2. Quiet by Susan Cain
"And what I'm saying is that culturally we need a much better balance. We need more of a yin and yang between these two types. This is especially important when it comes to creativity and to productivity, because when psychologists look at the lives of the most creative people, what they find are people who are very good at exchanging ideas and advancing ideas, but who also have a serious streak of introversion in them."

#3. How I Met Your Mother (Final Eps.)
Ted: “And that’s how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch. You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.”

Ted: “Kids, I won’t lie, that was a long weekend. More ups and downs that I can count. It was a twisting, turning road that led to the end of the aisle and not everything along the way was perfect. To be honest, not everything to follow would be perfect either. But what is? Here’s the secret, kids: none of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we’ve got. Because love is the best thing we do.”


And the last, some sentences to sum up what I've experienced during this year :)

Some moments are just too intense to be felt and dealt with, so what we can do is just letting them pass by without trying to avoid them or run away. And the more sensitive your senses are, bear with the consequences; the wound is cutting deeper and the pain is way, much more hurtful. But if you can learn from those scars, every experience you’ll later get will taste sweeter for you. And nothing is better than getting your wounds healed by your own hands.
H+3: Deleted Scenes
8:37 PM, 1 comments
 
There are too much to say, to write, to pour down. Often times I don’t really care about what labels we should put on us as long as we enjoy each other’s interaction and keep learning from it. Because I’ve learned that in the end, loving isn’t about what we can gain. It’s not about what the other can do that makes us happy, but about wanting goodness and happiness for the other even though we're no longer a part of it. But that’s where true love resides, right? When we know that we may not be the other’s reason to be happy anymore or they already have the other one to make them happy or anything, but somehow we still care and pray for their happiness. As I’ve learned lately, once you love someone, that love will never decrease. It just turns into another shape that often doesn’t have to include the need to possess in that.

So just so you know, I still pray for your best, no matter where we’re going in the end :)


*to the so-called natural partner
Monday, May 26, 2014, 1:25 AM, 0 comments

It hits me sometimes that music brings back memories as strong as scent does. Some songs have specific person related to them, making us think none but that person when the song is played. Some other songs have their own moments imprinted on them that you can’t help recalling the moments, no matter how bittersweet it may feel right now. Other times you find yourself intentionally looking for a song with the exact lyric that goes with your emotion at that time. And funny that the same song can picture different past scenes in your head, sometimes even with different person too. I can listen to Broken by Lifehouse or Only One by Yellowcard and memorize a person or two at the same time. Yet at different times, I can’t listen to Rhythm of Love by Plain White T’s or Bleeding Love by Boyce Avenue without reminiscing one specific moment with the same person and it’s stuck just like that. 

It’s true also that the first memory you have with a song remains the strongest comparing to the following memories. The first one is always eventful; the one that you can remember the most from second to second and is the hardest to escape from your brain no matter how much you put other memories above it. And even though it all sounds sweet and romantic at first, in the end, we just have to let go of everything that has become dust at the corner of our mind. The past along with its pleasant memories often look too tempting to resist, but we don’t live there anymore. All the good times, the intense feelings, the temporary laughter and tears, the butterflies-in-the-stomach scenes, the guilty pleasure that later we often regret; all.have.passed.


And I’m done with the “can’t-let-go” phase now :)

(stay)
Sunday, May 18, 2014, 8:25 AM, 0 comments


“Because the greatest gift you can give someone is the space to be his or herself, without the threat of you leaving.”
Kai, Lessons in Life #39

***

"Dear Catherine.

I've been sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. I'm sorry for that. I'll always love you 'cause we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I'm grateful for that. Whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, I'm sending you love. You're my friend to the end. 

Love, Theodore."

***

Cliche, I know. But this letter from "Her" is the exact epitome of what I've been wanting so long to pour in a written form to people I love who I might have disappointed so much, and have lost touch since. We might have grown apart and different but all I can say is, thank you for accompanying me throughout those phases in the past. We sticked together even though we sometimes were too hard to deal with. And I can't be more grateful for that :)

Victims from Both Sides
6:17 AM, 0 comments

What makes the thing between our thighs so appealing to be talked about? With so many news recently about sexual harassment cases that seem like spreading everywhere, media often draw too much attention on ‘who’ harasses ‘who’ without giving people enough idea about how to prevent the same case to happen again in the future. Hence, the victims are not only those who have been harassed or raped, but also the perpetrators themselves who are often misunderstood by society.

Why victims mostly go under the radar

Imagine this. If we have lost authority over our own body, what will we think we still have left? 
What makes every sexual harassment cases very dangerous is that it makes the victims think that their future has gone dark in an instant. The fear of being judged, feeling dirty and full of sin, also losing trust over men will haunt the victims for unknown period of time. They’re still busy struggling with themselves to cope with their fear and trauma at the level they don’t want to involve other people into their problem, including their closest people. Not only that, society also takes a huge part in holding the victims back from admitting what has happened to them. People are often too focused on the ‘who’ and forget that it’s a case that can happen to anyone, including them. We need to direct people’s mindset not to give any comment if it’s not to help the victims or the perpetrators. Sometimes the labels given by the society are what make the victims more depressed and the perpetrators more eager to continue their doings. By educating the society, at least the victims will feel safer to open up and thus the perpetrators can be easier to arrest.

Will decades in jail or death penalty be enough?

To blame the perpetrators merely because of their crimes is not the wisest and most effective step to take. We’re talking about sexual cases here, something that the trigger is not only to satisfy one’s desire, but also abnormal biological thing that one can’t always control. Some people were just born with higher sexual hormone than others or different sexual preference, as same as some people were born with sharp nose or dark hair. It’s just something that we can’t choose and unfortunately, those who are labeled ‘different’ from society can’t control it in the way they won’t disturb others. Whether it’s because some kind of mental disorders or just uncontrolled desire, those who are called ‘sexual predators’ tend to aim those who seem ‘weaker’ than they are. By saying ‘weak’ it can come from various perspectives. It includes women, children, prisoners, or in extreme cases, even dead people. It somehow proves that the perpetrators posses some kind of inferior feeling towards themselves that they need to do things that make them feel superior; in this case by sexually harassing the weak ones. That's not the only reason, but there are also trauma from being sexually harassed before, and other personal things that only the perpetrators know. So putting them in rehabilitation until they’re able to control themselves is the best we can do at first before anything related to prison and any other punishment can be discussed and determined.

It’s not merely a body; it’s a temple for one’s soul

Looking around us with so many cases of abuses and harassment, it’s enough to be a proof that most of us haven’t completely noticed the importance of our well-being besides doing its biological function. It’s sad that most children who have been sexually harassed feel bad for themselves for feeling ‘good’ by being treated that way even though it felt a bit uncomfortable at first, and thus it makes them unconscious that what has happened to them is sexual harassment. Then there comes the vicious cycle; those victims become insensitive to anything related to body and sexuality and they assume that it’s okay to treat people that way too because they have ever been treated that way. And then bit by bit they start becoming the perpetrators. To prevent things like this happen again in the future, it’s important to be aware that our body is not just a biological being. What lies within our body needs other than food and water to maintain its existence, but rather our courage to say ‘no’ whenever anyone attempts to touch our body parts without our consent. So better put more attention to what’s inside, not just what looks good for our body. Educate our mind, feel good more, and feed the soul with prayers. If what’s inside is strong enough, it will be easier to take care of the outside.

Mixtape #1: High School Lasts Longer than I Ever Thought
Monday, March 10, 2014, 6:32 AM, 0 comments


1. OneRepublic - Good Life
2. David Guetta ft. Taio Cruz - Little Bad Girl
3. The Calling - Wherever You Will Go
4. White Shoes & The Couples Company - Masa Remadja
5. HiVi! - Dear, Friend
6. Fall Out Boy ft. Foxes - Just One Yesterday
7. The Fray - How to Save A Life
8. Sleeping with Sirens - If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn (acoustic)
9. Landon Pigg - Can't Let Go
10. Jason Mraz - Details in the Fabric
11. The Fray - Look After You
12. OneRepublic - I Lived
***

For all the ups and downs and everything in between, I'm glad that I become who I never expect to be eventually. And in the meantime, the people who stand still beside you even in the hardest storm leave the deepest traces in your heart :)

A Letter to the (Wo)Man in the Mirror
Sunday, February 9, 2014, 1:24 AM, 0 comments

How long has it been since you’ve adapted too much on people and strived too hard to make them feel comfortable around you? There is, indeed, an expiry date to let others dictate how you feel and act towards them—even if they're the ones you really care for. It’s not your obligation to keep them happy; it’s their choice, though. And even though how you express your thoughts and feelings may contradict with them, it doesn’t really matter because if they’re really sincere to be with you, they’ll accept you just the way you actually are. Just know that you’re never in complete control. You can decide who comes inside, but you can’t ever make anyone stay, no matter how hard you try to make them feel comfortable.

I’m not forcing you, but I do hope that you’ll be less numb. It’s not always good to ban your heart to feel some unpleasant emotions in order to avoid conflict and it’s better to face them instead. Sometimes it’s okay to let your guard down and admit that you’re hurt by others rather than conceal it. It might hurt at the moment, but the lesson you’ll get from your wound is worth much more than if you let things go as if nothing bad happens. 

But despite all these, I’m glad that now you’re able to choose whom you can trust and be open up to, because not everyone is that easy to accept and embrace differences. I’m also glad that you become less naïve; not because you’re more cynical towards the world or destiny but because you have learned that reality is actually sweeter than any dreams. You’ve also learned not to expect on anything or anyone and appreciated the little things more. You had been in the moment where you focused too much on the vision about what you (and your other one) could do together in the future while you both forgot to cherish the present, and at last it ruined everything. Expectations, assumptions, and judgments turn out to be the ones that destroy any relationship you build with the others the most. And glad to see that you’ve come to realize that there is no such thing as the formula of true love or “Guide to Find Your Soul Mate” because love is simply built by understanding, acceptance, and commitment to stay together even when the hardest storm strikes you both. And as the time passes by, flowery words get cheaper and what really matters is you and your other one’s effort and sincere actions to make each other happy.

Lastly, I just wish that in the next moment you’ll take more chances and responsibilities. The joy in your journey can always be found even on the steepest hill, and in the meantime you might find someone tenderly holding your hand and accompanying you until you both can see sunrise from the peak :)

Sincerely,
The (wo)man standing in front of the mirror

The Loveliest
Saturday, February 1, 2014, 4:59 AM, 0 comments

Have you ever had that one moment when you feel that you're truly accepted without being expected to do something else or be someone else? When you can be fully open without fearing of getting any kind of judgement that make you feel less worthy? When you can finally put your defense down and let them see parts of you that are painful and unpleasant? I really do hope that you have one, because I have, and that's one of the most comforting and consoling moment I've ever had in my entire life :)



“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
Henri J.M. Nouwen

The Broken Ones
Sunday, December 8, 2013, 6:06 AM, 0 comments



Listen to me; you can’t fix people.
Your love won’t make him stop hating his father
and your devotion won’t cure her of her childhood.
All you can do is be there, violets sprouting out
from your ribs, acceptance on your lips, your own
wounds still bleeding and all you can do is be there. 
And sometimes that’s enough. Sometimes that’s everything.

- Tumblr

Saturday, November 16, 2013, 4:46 AM, 0 comments

Nama, Identitas, dan Sulitnya Menjadi Indonesia bagi Warga Keturunan Tionghoa

Bagi seorang Sugiharti Halim, nama bermakna lebih dari sekedar atribut yang dimiliki seseorang sejak lahir. Dengan kulit kuning langsat dan mata sipit, nama ‘Sugiharti Halim’ tak membebaskannya dari berbagai bentuk diskriminasi yang dilakukan oleh masyarakat Indonesia pada umumnya selama bertahun-tahun setelah Indonesia merdeka. 

Film pendek garapan Ariani Darmawan ini dengan blak-blakan mengabadikan realita warga keturunan Tionghoa yang hingga kini masih berjuang menempatkan eksistensinya di tengah berbagai prasangka terhadap orang Cina. Buramnya identitas bagi kebanyakan warga keturunan Tionghoa seolah disahkan dengan adanya Keppres yang mewajibkan seluruh WNI etnis Cina untuk mengadopsi nama Indonesia. Saat itu, berlomba-lombalah warga Tionghoa mengubah nama menjadi nama Indonesia meskipun di dalamnya mereka tetap menyamarkan unsur Tionghoa seperti nama ‘Liem’ yang diselipkan dalam ‘Halim’. 

Dari segi sosial-budaya, “Sugiharti Halim” terbilang sukses merepresentasikan kenyataan warga keturunan Tionghoa sehari-hari sebagai warga minoritas yang seringkali terbatasi hak-haknya. Dari awal penonton sudah dijelaskan secara gamblang bagaimana Sugiharti, seorang warga keturunan Tionghoa, menggambarkan dirinya sendiri lewat berbagai percakapan yang dilakukannya dengan berbagai lelaki yang menjadi teman makannya. Tak seperti film bertema serupa yang kebanyakan membungkus pesan yang terkandung dalam topik yang terbilang sensitif ini dalam berbagai lapis yang harus diurai sendiri oleh penonton, “Sugiharti Halim” justru melakukan sebaliknya. Tiap keluhan Sugiharti seakan menampar penonton akan perlakuan kurang adil yang dialami oleh warga Tionghoa namun selama ini dianggap sudah menjadi hal yang biasa. 

Dalam suatu momen saat Sugiharti bercerita tentang orang-orang yang selalu mempertanyakan keaslian namanya saat pertama berkenalan, ia mengatakan “seolah-olah gue harus punya nama yang lebih asli daripada ‘Sugiharti Halim.’” Disini sangat tampak bahwa identitas warga Tionghoa dipreteli dari atribut dasar mereka terlebih dahulu, yaitu nama. Menyadari bahwa namanya tak cocok untuk seorang perempuan, Sugiharti sempat ingin mengganti namanya menjadi Julianne. Potret ini sangat sering ditemui di kalangan warga keturunan Tionghoa yang saat ini justru ciri khas mereka nampak di namanya yang kebarat-baratan meskipun sebenarnya tak sesuai juga dengan budaya asli Tionghoa. Ironis, karena toh se-Indonesia apapun nama mereka, ciri fisik mereka tak menghindarkan orang-orang untuk tidak menganggap mereka sebagai orang Indonesia yang setara dengan yang dianggap masyarakat sebagai pribumi. 

Tidak adilnya birokrasi kepada warga keturunan Tionghoa juga tampak ketika Surat Bukti Kewarganegaraan Republik Indonesia dan Surat Pergantian Nama milik mendiang Taruna Halim, ayah Sugiharti, hilang dan Sugiharti terpaksa merelakan dirinya dimarahi habis-habisan oleh petugas imigrasi. Jelas sekali bahwa adegan ini menggambarkan masyarakat awam yang seringkali memperlakukan warga keturunan Tionghoa sebagai masyarakat kelas dua yang hanya dianggap sebagai pendatang di Indonesia. Dalam aspek sosial, hal ini juga tak adil karena hingga saat ini belum diketahui apa yang membedakan keturunan Tionghoa dengan keturunan-keturunan lainnya hingga harus mempunyai SBKRI. Bisa dibayangkan betapa sulitnya menjadi warga Tionghoa yang di awal harus merelakan ciri ke-Tionghoa-annya dibabat habis dan bahkan setelah mengganti nama pun, stereotip masyarakat yang menganggap bahwa mereka ‘orang Cina’ alih-alih ‘orang Indonesia’ tetap melekat di mata orang awam.

Hingga kemudian timbullah pertanyaan, haruskah warga keturunan Tionghoa ditolak menjadi Indonesia hanya karena kenampakan mereka di permukaan yang berbeda dengan masyarakat Indonesia pada umumnya? Hanya sedangkal kulitkah identitas kebangsaan seseorang bisa ditentukan? 

Kutipan dari Shakespeare “what is in a name?” yang dikutip oleh Tan Ging Le, teman makan Sugiharti yang datang dari keluarga asli Tionghoa yang kolot di akhir film menyadarkan Sugiharti bahwa apa yang menjadi pembeda antar satu individu dengan yang lain tidak ditentukan dari apa yang telah melekat darinya sejak lahir, melainkan apa yang ada di dalam, yang keberadaannya jauh lebih kompleks dan bermakna daripada sekedar tampilan luar. Jiwa, pikiran, karakter, kepribadian—apapun itu yang selalu mampu dikembangkan tanpa mempermasalahkan keadaan fisik sejatinya adalah kualitas sesungguhnya dari seorang manusia. Yang menjadi tanda tanya sekarang adalah, kualitas apakah yang menentukan seseorang hingga ia bisa dikatakan layak untuk menjadi seorang ‘Indonesia’?


(a hastily-made movie review I wrote for Olimpiade Ilmu Sosial FISIP UI 2013)

IMUN & OIS
Friday, November 15, 2013, 7:59 AM, 0 comments

These last four years, luckily I’ve always had my best month in November during the year. And I can’t stop smiling to remember these last two weeks in November 2013 I’ve spent in Depok to attend Indonesia Model United Nations (IMUN) and Olimpiade Ilmu Sosial (OIS) which were held by FISIP UI. Months before, I got a bit panicked because their dates almost collided. IMUN were in 5th until 8th November while OIS were in 8th until 13th November. I also had to prepare the materials for them, and believe me, switching your mind from engrossing in “Stem Cell Technology Dilemma” to multiculturalism issues wasn’t that easy to do. But I dealt with the obstacles pretty well, and with the high curiosity I brought from having never gone to UI for an event before, I hit the road.

At first, I attended IMUN as a high-school delegate. I was paired with Asiila and we worked together as delegates of Human Rights Watch in WHO. We’ve sent each other e-mails and DM before we met and I was grateful that she was very bubbly and lively that she was so easy to connect with others. Then we met with other high-school delegates and they were very, very bright and critical. During the conference, I was glad that I’ve learned so much from them; from making critical questions to mingling with others easily. In WHO itself there were four NGOs which meant there were eight high-school delegates; me, Asiila, Farina, Jen, Riris, Cicu, Ghea, and Reza. As the NGOs, we were obliged to make a presentation to explain our perception towards the issue in front of the dais and other countries. It sounded like a simple task to do but unexpectedly, it took our time and energy more than we thought. Two nights in a row we worked late in UI’s central library to finish our presentation. On the first night, we were too busy chatting and eating in the canteen at first that we forgot to start making it. When we came back to the library, it was almost seven, an odd, traditional song was played on speaker, and when the lights were turned off, we just realized that the library was almost closed so we continued working on the presentation in… Siila’s car :)) The next night, we polished the presentation here and there and when it’s done, we ate in the canteen near the mosque. Forgive us for being young and too lazy to go home, though. To kill time, we chatted and talked for hours and it was the best moment I captured during IMUN :”) We became very close and connected to each other, and after the last session ended, it was very hard to say goodbye to one another. 



NGOs delegates during lunch

For me, the euphoria hadn’t ended yet. After the last session, I straightly went to OIS’ soft opening. As a participant I stayed in Wisma Makara and it surprised me at first that I had to sleep with three girls that I hadn’t known yet in the same room, even though later I enjoyed our togetherness in that room :3 There were some main competitions and agendas that we had to attend, such as Problem Solving Competition, Problem Solving Presentation, Movie Review, Circle of Knowledge, Social Science Quiz, Cultural Performance, Institution Visit, and Cultural Discovery. With two boys and a girl in one team, sometimes we argued with each other mostly when we made essay for Problem Solving Competition and prepared for our cultural performance hehehe :p But on the fourth day, we were separated as individual participants to compete in Movie Review, Circle of Knowledge, and Social Science Quiz. Realizing that I did best at writing, I took part in Movie Review. The students who participated in the same competition were gathered in the same bus and coincidentally, me, Afi, Darren, and Abed made a group of four. The craziest thing we’ve done was when we visited DPR Building and we had to listen to one of DPR’s people’s speech which—objectively speaking—was very boring… and Abed took pictures of students and teachers who slept during the speech :)))) 

Besides the fun time I had with other students, I also had a very good time with Kak Gerald, my team’s L.O. :D I remember there was one time when my team mates were sleeping during lunch time, Kak Gerald and I were busy talking about things we both love, like how we enjoyed serious movies, his obsession towards Coldplay, the 'music geek' phases I've gone through from indie and alternative rock to folk-jazz and acoustic, and many more. The night when I had to finish my movie review, he played guitar and all of a sudden other L.O.s followed him and until now, that was the best jam session I’ve ever known! I hate to admit that it ruined my concentration, but still… his ability in playing guitar at that night was beyond amazing :D 

Both in IMUN and OIS I got some satisfying awards, such as “Best NGO in WHO” and “Silver Medal in Problem Solving Competition”. But the real treasure is the lesson and values I got from what I’ve experienced during IMUN and OIS. I've learned how to bounce back after I fall; I've learned how to cope with extreme differences; I've learned how to transform my fear into emotional stability; and I've learned how to stand still when things are going against my expectations 


after cultural performance

OIS '13 family :)

The reason I actively join these kind of events is just as simple as I like to meet different people and feel different ambience in many situations. I find it challenging to learn how to treat many kind of people and handle different kind of situations, which at the same time makes me rich in experience and perspective.

Because all of these times, I always believe that what makes a human whole is the experiences they choose to affect them  

The Newsroom
Saturday, September 21, 2013, 2:41 AM, 0 comments


Everything I need to learn about integrity and holding on to my principles is poured in The Newsroom. I really love how Mac, Will, and Charlie lead the team to hang on together and produce the news as smart as possible no matter how difficult the obstacles they have to face. No need for further information because I'm too awed by the plot and character Aaron Sorkin brings to it. 

And this is Charlie's line from one of my favorite scene in Season 1:

I need to tell you that you're going to remember this night for the rest of your lives. It's going to be a long night and we need you to work fast and we need you to work well. But once in a while, take three seconds- you can't spare more than that- take three seconds to notice where you are and what you're doing. Will's gonna go on the air in a few minutes so that we can report that at the order of the President of the United States, US Special Forces have shot and killed Osama bin Laden.




Gender Equality—Is It Really Equal in Reality?
Sunday, September 15, 2013, 8:38 AM, 0 comments

(my personal response to those who disrespect the smart, educated women who decide to stay fully committed to their family.)

Seiring dengan semakin bebasnya akses informasi dan pendidikan serta luasnya kesempatan untuk mengisi lapangan kerja di dunia, kini tugas wanita tak dibatasi dalam lingkup dapur dan kamar tidur saja. Dunia kini lebih menghargai mereka yang berwawasan luas dan cakap dalam menggeluti bidang masing-masing alih-alih sekedar dari jenis kelaminnya, sehingga wanita berpendidikan pun mulai diperhitungkan. Dengan adanya kebebasan memilih itulah tak heran banyak wanita dibingungkan dengan dilema untuk terus melanjutkan pencapaian dalam karir maupun pendidikan atau fokus mengurus anak dan keluarga.

Lelaki sering disalahkan sebagai penyebab utama tidak berkembangnya potensi wanita secara utuh di zaman dahulu. Tapi pernahkah terlintas di pikiran kita bahwa hingga saat ini ketika isu persamaan gender telah didengungkan dimana-mana, lelaki tak pernah memaksa wanita untuk unggul dengan takaran yang sama dalam hal karir dan mengurus keluarga?

“Wanita karir toh tidak semata kerja kantoran. Berkeluarga dan mengurus anak adalah salah satu pencapaian dalam hidup saya. Hamil dan melahirkan adalah kodrat sekaligus anugerah. Kalau ada yang harus dikorbankan atau ditunda bukan berarti saya kalah dan tidak bisa memenuhi ambisi saya, karena itu adalah bentuk ‘karir’ yang berbeda. Setelah dirangkum, puncak karir yang sejati bagi saya adalah menjadi penulis profesional berpenghasilan yang diam di rumah (atas nama full-time freelancer), sekaligus ibu rumah tangga, rutin berkegiatan seni ke luar rumah agar tetap melek budaya dan haus berkarya, dan yang penting bisa mendidik anak sekuat tenaga dengan pola pikir pintar masyarakat urban bersama suami tercinta (yang bekerja demi kebutuhan primer dan sekunder sesuai tanggung jawabnya).
Itu adalah setara bagi saya. Mungkin bagi Carrie Bradshaw yang merupakan fun-fearless-single woman dalam Sex and The City beda lagi (walaupun akhirnya status single itu berubah setelah ia menikah juga dengan Mr.Big). Dan kesetaraan gender bagi wanita yang berkarir melalui kerja kantoran dan tetap berkeluarga tentu juga lain konsep lagi. Jika para wanita ini berkorban dalam karir kerja kantorannya dengan mengurus keluarga, saya pribadi tidak menganggap ini adalah kekalahan, tapi lebih ke keberhasilan atas pengendalian ego pribadi. Karena taruhannya adalah kelestarian spesies manusia, semakin fokus kita mendidik generasi baru, semakin besar harapan kita atas kehidupan yang lebih baik.”

Dalam blognya di www.maradilla.com, penggelut seni musik sekaligus penulis muda Maradilla Syachridar ini mengedepankan keseimbangan dalam berkarya dan berumah tangga bagi wanita. Untuk menutup ulasannya, ia mengatakan bahwa kesetaraan gender sejatinya tidak terletak pada persoalan tentang mengatasi suatu hal yang sudah menjadi stereotype masyarakat pada umumnya, melainkan kepada timbal-balik pemenuhan hak individual dan pengendalian ego sesuai kodrat.

Kita toh dulu tidak bisa memilih untuk terlahir sebagai perempuan atau lelaki, maka jalani saja kewajiban, tanggung jawab, hak, dan konsekuensi yang sudah disediakan Tuhan kepada kita dari kodratnya. Bila ada suatu hal menyangkut kodrat yang bertabrakan dengan ego kita dalam hal pencapaian dalam karir, pendidikan, atau hobi, mungkin akan lebih baik jika kita kembalikan pada Sang Maha yang telah menciptakan kita setara tanpa memberatsebelahkan kedudukan yang satu dengan yang lain ☺


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